My Child Hates Doing Homework — How Can I Help Them?

“I Hate Homework!”—When Schoolwork Becomes a Daily Battle

If your child groans, sulks, or flat-out refuses to do homework, you’re not alone. Many parents feel stuck between wanting to nurture their child’s learning and not wanting every evening to end in tears or arguments. You want to help—but without turning into a drill sergeant, right?

Parenting a child who avoids homework isn't a sign that you’re doing something wrong. More often than not, it’s a sign that something isn’t clicking for your child—whether it’s a struggle with understanding the material, attention problems, or emotional stress related to school. And the good news? There are ways to ease the tension and foster not just compliance, but confidence and curiosity.

Understand the “Why” Before You Try to “Fix” It

When a child resists doing homework, our instinct might be to push harder. But instead of driving the situation through consequences and bribes, try something that may feel counterintuitive at first: pause and listen.

One mom I spoke with, Sabrina, was at her wit’s end because her 8-year-old son Jonah refused to do his spelling exercises. Every evening turned into an hour-long standoff. But after a conversation where Sabrina simply asked, “What makes spelling so hard for you?”, Jonah revealed he hated writing—not because of the content, but because it physically tired him out. “My hand hurts and I can’t spell out loud like I think,” he said.

The root of the resistance matters. Is your child tired after a long day? Do they feel ashamed for not understanding the task? Are they bored, anxious, or overwhelmed? Once you understand why, your approach can shift from confrontation to connection.

Make Homework Fit Into Your Child’s World

Instead of expecting your child to adapt to homework, what if homework could adapt to them?

If your child learns better by talking or listening rather than reading silently, use that. Some parents find that recording spelling words into a phone and having their child spell them aloud in the car on the way to ballet practice suddenly makes the task less of a chore. Others turn multiplication review into a mini quiz competition—just you and your child, five quick questions before dinner.

Children between 6 and 12 are still rapidly discovering how they learn. For kids who struggle with attention or written tasks, literacy can be unlocked through alternative routes. Apps like Skuli allow you to take a photo of your child’s assignment and transform it into an audio adventure where your child becomes the hero. Your child’s name is woven into the story, and suddenly reviewing natural sciences doesn’t feel like school—it feels like play.

Shift the Power Dynamic Around Homework

One reason homework turns sour is that it becomes a battle for control. Your child doesn’t want to feel forced. You don’t want to feel ignored. The spiral begins.

Changing this dynamic starts with giving your child a say. Let them help decide: When should we do homework—right after school or later in the evening? Would you rather read aloud or have someone read to you? Sitting on the couch or at the table?

These micro-choices create a sense of ownership. In this helpful guide on fostering independence, we explore what it looks like to give children responsibility without overwhelming them. It’s a subtle shift, but a powerful one: from “Mom makes me do it” to “This is part of what I do.”

Create Routines That Reduce Resistance

Children thrive with predictability. If every afternoon you're renegotiating when, where, and how homework will happen, your child will detect the chaos—and respond with stress or avoidance.

Instead, aim for simplicity and consistency. The same place. The same rough time frame. The same short snack beforehand, perhaps even the same lamp turned on to signal “work time.” One family I know has what they call the “Ten-Minute Launch”—a kitchen timer, no pressure, one subject. “We just start,” the mom told me. “And honestly, getting started usually melts 80% of the resistance.”

This article on establishing a calming homework routine offers practical suggestions for building predictable structure into chaotic weekday evenings—even if you have multiple kids or an unconventional schedule.

Rethink What “Support” Means

Support doesn’t mean hovering over your child while correcting every mistake. In fact, stepping back can be a surprising form of help. Your child needs to believe that homework is something they are capable of doing—mistakes and all.

That being said, some kids truly need more scaffolding to get started. This is where tools can make a big difference—especially ones that make learning less dry. Some parents use audio features to review lessons in the car, replacing passive downtime with light-touch learning. Others transform notes into personalized quiz games to make recall more interactive. When you’re trying to make studying less of a struggle, even small changes can have a big impact.

Remember: Your Relationship Comes First

Ultimately, your relationship with your child is more important than any worksheet. If you find that nightly homework ends in frustration or tears more often than not, take a step back. Breathe. Press pause.

One dad I knew made a quiet decision to stop correcting his daughter’s reading mistakes during homework. “I realized I was killing her confidence,” he told me. “Now I praise her effort, not the accuracy. Her teacher can handle the correction. I handle the support.”

There is no perfect system. Only practice, compassion, and ongoing adjustment. But know this: if you're here, reading this, searching for better ways to help, you're already doing the most important work there is.

And if you’d like to keep exploring this topic deeper, don’t miss our article on navigating homework without conflict. You’re not alone—and solutions do exist.