My Child Gets Bored at the Other Parent’s House: What Can I Do?

Understanding the Roots of Boredom in Shared Custody

When your child comes back from the other parent’s house and says, "I was bored the whole time," it's easy to feel frustrated, worried, or even a little helpless. Maybe you’re already doing your best to keep their days structured, their learning on track, and their emotional world stable — only to feel like that effort unravels on the days they’re away. The important thing to remember is: boredom in shared custody isn't necessarily a failure. It’s often a symptom — of change, adjustment, or unmet emotional or developmental needs.

At its heart, boredom is a feeling of disconnection. Children aged 6 to 12 are still learning how to name and understand their emotions. Saying, “I’m bored,” could mean, “I miss you,” or “I don’t feel seen,” or “Things felt slow and unfamiliar.” Boredom isn’t just about the absence of fun — it’s about a child not feeling quite at home in their environment.

Start with Curiosity, Not Criticism

It can be tempting to jump in with, “Well, what did you expect?” or worse, criticize the other parent’s style. But what kids need the most in these moments is your calm, open curiosity. Try to ask gently:

• “What made it feel boring?”
• “Was there a part you liked at all?”
• “What do you wish had happened instead?”

Sometimes, the answer will surprise you. One 9-year-old boy I worked with said the reason he was bored was because no one asked him about school at his dad’s house. He didn’t actually want more playtime—he wanted someone to review his spelling list with.

By staying curious, you open the door to better insight—not just into their time with the other parent, but into your child’s evolving emotional and developmental needs.

Resist the Urge to “Compete”

One of the toughest traps to avoid in separated parenting is the unspoken competition: who gives the best snacks, who plans the most activities, who’s the “fun” parent. If your child is bored at the other house, it might feel like your time together suddenly needs to be extra stimulating to “make up” for it. But overcompensating like that rarely helps.

Instead of trying to outdo, focus on restoring. Your goal isn't to make your home better than the other — it's to make your connection with your child strong, stable, and safe. That sense of safety will help them weather slower or less engaging days elsewhere. In fact, consistency often trumps excitement, especially for kids in transitional phases. As seen in this guide on maintaining a stable routine in shared custody, children flourish most when they know what to expect—regardless of whose roof they're under.

Include the Other Parent Without Adding Pressure

As painful as it may be to hear that a child is struggling on someone else’s watch, resist the knee-jerk reaction to call out the other parent. However, that doesn’t mean doing nothing. If you and your co-parent are able to communicate, this could be an opportunity to open a calm, non-judgmental conversation around how your child spends their time in both homes.

Try using specific, child-centered language. For example: “Jamie told me he felt a bit bored this weekend and missed doing creative things like drawing or playing music. Do you think there's a way we can both build that type of activity into the week?”

It can also be helpful to revisit strategies for building a cooperative educational partnership after divorce. When both parents see themselves as teammates supporting their child’s learning and engagement, boredom becomes a shared challenge — not a blame game.

Help Your Child Build Inner Resources

Since you can't always control what happens at the other home, consider ways to empower your child to navigate boredom independently. Some children benefit from taking small activities with them — a set of drawing prompts, a travel journal, or a fun project that continues across both homes.

You can also help them cultivate self-guided learning habits. One mother I spoke with helped her daughter turn school worksheets into audio lessons she could listen to while drawing at her dad's place. For kids who enjoy stories, apps like Skuli can transform school content into personalized audio adventures where they become the main character — a fun, immersive way to keep learning even when the environment isn’t ideal.

Building these inner anchors gives children a sense of agency and familiarity, even when the external setting changes.

When Boredom Hides Something Deeper

Sometimes, chronic boredom can be a signal of deeper issues — anxiety, sadness, or difficulties adjusting. If your child consistently reports feeling disengaged, it might be worth looking into how the divorce or separation is impacting their emotional world. Take a look at our article on creating a safe and reassuring environment after separation. Kids who feel secure are more likely to adapt, even during slower or quieter weekends at the other home.

Problems with school focus or restlessness across both homes may also be a sign that the turbulence of shared custody is affecting how they learn. In these cases, resources like this guide to helping children of divorced parents stay focused in class may point the way to more tailored support.

Final Thoughts: Trust the Long Game

No family setup is perfect, especially after separation or divorce. And boredom — while uncomfortable — can lead to self-discovery if we guide our children towards it with compassion. Use these moments as a window into your child’s emerging preferences, their need for connection, or simply their desire to feel more in control of their time.

Whatever the cause, your presence, curiosity, and consistency are more powerful than you think. And with just a few creative tools and conversations, you can help your child turn those "boring weekends" into opportunities for growth, learning, and maybe even imagination.