"My Child Feels Different": How to Support Them if They're Emotionally Gifted (HPE)
When your child says "I don’t fit in"
"I don’t understand why other kids care about that stuff." "Why do I feel things so much more than everyone else?" These are the kinds of questions that might tumble out of your emotionally gifted (HPE) child — often late at night, when you’re both exhausted. And you pause, heart aching, because you know they’re telling the truth. They do feel different. And not in a way that feels good to them.
Raising a child who is Haut Potentiel Emotionnel (HPE) — emotionally gifted or intensely sensitive — can feel like being handed a wildfire in a paper cup. Their depth, intuition, and inner complexity are beautiful, but managing the intensity can be overwhelming for both of you. When school gets tough, when social dynamics feel confusing, when emotions run high before homework even hits the table, your child may start to retreat or break down. You're left trying to decode what's really going on — and how to help.
What it means to be emotionally gifted
First, it's important to understand that emotionally gifted children aren't simply "too sensitive." Their emotional processing is wired differently. They pick up micro-expressions, tones of voice, and tensions in a room that others miss. They often ask deep, existential questions long before their peers. A seemingly small injustice at school can shake them for days. Their inner world is vast, and their expectations of themselves (and others) can be unrelentingly high.
Sometimes, these children are also cognitively gifted, but not always. Emotional giftedness can stand alone, and when unidentified or unsupported, it often leads to anxiety, school refusal, or explosive behaviors after a long day of holding it together. If you’re wondering whether your child might be HPE, this article on testing and understanding HPE profiles may help you explore the idea more deeply.
Helping your child feel understood — and less alone
One of the best gifts you can give your emotionally gifted child is a feeling of safety. Not just through love — though that matters deeply — but through comprehension: someone finally "gets" them. This starts at home.
Create space to talk — not just about how their day went, but how it felt. Notice the topics they dwell on. Often, HPE children will repeat a social exchange or mistake again and again, trying to make sense of it. Instead of dismissing or resolving it quickly, try offering reflection: "It sounds like being misunderstood felt really painful today." Or, "You were hoping for justice, and you didn't get it. That’s hard." Mirroring their emotional experience helps build their emotional literacy and soothes their inner turmoil.
Establishing a household rhythm that values calm, predictability, and decompression can also make a big difference. In this guide to creating a supportive home environment for HPE children, you’ll find ideas to help build emotional resilience where your child retreats to rest and recharge.
School can be challenging, even when a child is intellectually advanced
Your child may be bored in class but still melt down over an essay. Or they might obsess over getting every math question right but collapse in despair if a classmate calls them annoying. This complex combination makes school a battlefield of emotional and cognitive dissonance.
Supporting their learning — without igniting anxiety — takes creative solutions. If your child struggles to focus after school or gets easily frustrated by books and worksheets, try making learning more playful and user-led. For example, many HPE children benefit from auditory learning because it reduces the visual overload of text and allows their imagination to build connections. Some parents have found success using tools that convert written lessons into personalized audio adventures — even letting their child be the hero of the story — turning homework battles into moments of magic. (Apps like Skuli can transform a photo of a classroom lesson into a 20-question quiz or create a tailored narrative with your child’s name, giving them a sense of agency while learning at their own rhythm.)
We dive deeper into learning strategies in our article on perfectionism and HPE children, which often shows up during homework time or group projects.
Find allies — both for you and your child
You don’t have to parent in isolation. HPE children are usually a small minority in their classroom, which makes seeking understanding from their teachers even more essential. Sharing calmly articulated observations (not demands) can go a long way. “I've noticed that when my child feels emotionally overwhelmed, their ability to concentrate shifts dramatically. Here's what helps at home—could we explore accommodations together?”
In addition, consider consulting with professionals who specialize in emotional giftedness — child psychologists, neuropsychologists, or therapists who understand this profile. This list of recommended specialists for HPE children can be a great starting point to know who’s best positioned to help.
Joy matters, too
In the midst of challenges, don't forget: your child’s depth also holds extraordinary joy. They notice beauty in music, nature, or a friend’s loyalty in ways that will uplift you for years to come. Connecting with your child around what lights them up — be it science, art, ethical debates, or even strategy games where they can flex their imagination — is essential. Curious to find shared activities that really stimulate them? This guide to board games for HPE kids can help you discover new, meaningful ways to play together.
Finally, you’re not failing
If you’ve made it this far into the article, it’s because you care deeply. You’re probably tired, maybe even worried you're not doing enough. But the truth is, you’re already doing the most important thing: showing up with empathy and curiosity for who your child really is. Emotionally gifted children don’t need perfect parents — they need seen-and-heard ones. And you’re on that path.