My Child Cries Before School: Should We Consider Changing Schools?

When School Becomes a Daily Battle

It starts with tears at the breakfast table. Or maybe tummy aches every morning. Maybe it's crying at bedtime or outright refusal to get dressed. These moments, repeated over time, chip away at your confidence as a parent. You try everything—gentle encouragement, structured routines, even tough love—but the meltdowns before school don’t stop. Eventually, the question forms in your mind: Are we in the wrong school?

This is one of the hardest decisions a parent can face. Before making any moves, it’s essential to understand what exactly is causing your child's distress—and what kind of help they actually need.

Not Just a Phase: Understanding the Tears

It's tempting to hope your child will grow out of it. After all, school anxiety is common, especially in the early years. But if the anxiety lasts for weeks or months, and if your child’s emotional distress is interfering with daily life, it’s no longer just a phase—it’s a signal.

Start by listening. What is your child saying (or not saying) about school? For some kids, it's about feeling alone or left out. For others, it may be frustration because the material is too difficult, or boredom because they’re not challenged. One father I spoke with thought his son was just being stubborn about multiplication. Turns out, the child was humiliated daily by being called to the board and not understanding the teacher’s language-heavy explanations.

School Fit vs. School Failure

We often assume that all schools deliver a similar education. But each school—not just the curriculum but the environment, teaching style, class size, culture—is different. And no school can be the right fit for every child. The issue may lie in:

• Teaching style that clashes with your child's way of learning (more on that here)
• Lack of emotional support services, making sensitive kids feel unseen and overwhelmed
• Inflexibility in how lessons are delivered, especially tough for kids with attention or learning differences

Take some time to observe: does the school adapt to different learning styles? Can your 7-year-old learn with movement, visuals, or stories? Or is everything standardized and one-size-fits-all?

Support Before a Switch

Leaving a school can be like breaking up a family routine—it’s disruptive, emotionally complex, and not always a guaranteed improvement. So before you consider a new school, explore support options within your current one.

Start by requesting a team meeting. Bring your observations, perhaps from a journal you've kept, noting your child’s meltdowns, what triggers them, and what helps soothe them. Ask about possible accommodations. If teachers and administrators are dismissive or defensive, that’s a red flag. Still, it’s common for parents to be told nothing more can be done. If that happens, here's an article that can guide you through your rights.

At the same time, there are things you can do outside the classroom that empower your child. For instance, one mother I worked with had a daughter who dreaded reading assignments. They started turning her lessons into audio during the drive to school. By listening instead of silently reading, her daughter engaged more confidently—and tears became less frequent. (It helped that the story sometimes featured her as the hero, thanks to tools like the Skuli app, which can turn lessons into audio adventures personalized with a child's first name.)

When It’s Time to Move On

If you’ve advocated within the system, used outside resources, and still see no relief, a school change might be not just appropriate, but healing. A different school isn’t just a geographical change—it can mean a whole new culture. Some schools offer smaller class sizes, more sensory breaks, or project-based curricula that work better for neurodivergent learners. Even alternative learning models might open doors you didn’t know existed.

Still, moving schools is an emotional process for a child. Let them be part of the transition. Visit the new school together. Meet the teacher. Explore the playground. Reframe the change not as escaping something bad, but as moving toward a better fit—something made especially for them.

Building Back Confidence

Whether you stay or go, your child needs to believe: "I’m not broken. I just learn differently." They also need one reliable adult to hold space for their struggles—you. When their world at school feels hostile or confusing, you become home base.

Don’t underestimate the power of small, daily affirmations and emotional check-ins. Read with them, play with them—even get silly learning together. Relationships are more healing than worksheets.

This article may not give you a simple answer to the school-switching question, because one-size solutions don’t work—especially when your child is the one crying at the breakfast table. But you’re not alone, and it’s okay to say, "This setup isn’t serving my child. We deserve better." If that’s where you are, here's a deeper look at what emotional support really looks like for a child in distress.