Mental Overload in Primary School: How to Create Calmer Evenings at Home

The invisible weight our children carry

By the time your child closes their backpack and walks through the front door, they’ve often already had enough. Not of you—but of the pressure. A full day of lessons, constant concentration, social navigation, emotional self-regulation... It’s a lot, even for grownups. When a child between the ages of 6 and 12 starts melting down at home, refusing to do homework, or just zoning out completely, it’s not laziness. It could be mental overload.

As parents, our instinct is to help. But where do you even begin when your child seems already burned out before the math worksheet even hits the table?

Unpacking the after-school stress cycle

Imagine being bombarded with tasks you don’t understand, feeling behind your classmates, and getting told to "pay more attention"—again. For many kids, school is a daily emotional marathon. By evening, their mental "tank" is empty, making homework not just difficult but sometimes impossible.

You may have noticed the signs: disproportionate reactions, a reluctance to even open a notebook, or a child that becomes uncharacteristically silent. According to current research, homework can amplify anxiety and worsen children's perception of their own competency—particularly when they’re already struggling. We unpack this more in our article on the emotional toll of homework.

Shift from performance to connection

One of the most powerful ways to reduce evening stress is to reframe the purpose of your after-school time. Instead of pushing through pages of assignments, treat your evenings as a space to reconnect—not just with each other, but with your child’s sense of self. Here’s one family’s story that’s stayed with me:

Sarah, a single mom of two, told me about her son Leo, 8, who would regularly cry during homework. Night after night ended in arguments. One evening, she decided to skip homework altogether. She made hot chocolate, sat quietly on the couch with Leo, and simply asked, “What was the hardest part of your day?” At first, he shrugged. But a few days later, he said: “No one sat with me at lunch.”

That moment changed everything. Sarah began prioritizing emotional check-ins first, even on busy nights. The difference? Leo’s anxiety around school started to decrease. Eventually, homework became less of a battleground and more of a shared challenge.

Bring the learning to them, not the other way around

It’s not just what we do that matters—it’s how we do it. For children facing mental fatigue, traditional homework methods can feel like climbing a hill in the dark. But there are creative ways to re-engage their thinking without increasing the load.

Ask yourself: How does my child learn best? Is it through movement? Listening? Role play? If your child becomes overwhelmed by reading a full page of instructions but loves storytelling, turn the lesson into a story. One thoughtful way parents are doing this is by using tools that personalize learning. For example, some apps now allow you to turn written lessons into audio adventures where your child becomes the hero, using their own name. The Skuli App (available on iOS and Android) offers exactly that, and for kids who resist worksheets, it can completely reframe their relationship with learning.

For auditory learners, even listening to a lesson in the car or while brushing teeth can go a long way. When the format honors the child’s natural way of learning, review time becomes lighter, even enjoyable.

Create rituals, not routines

Instead of rigid routines, build rituals that support decompression. A nightly calendar may look good on paper, but overloaded kids require emotional space more than structured productivity. Here’s what that can look like:

• Let your child choose one calming activity after school—coloring, taking a walk, or simply zoning out with music.
• Before starting homework, invite them to light a candle or draw a silly doodle—something that makes the moment feel like theirs.
• Keep work sessions short—no longer than 20 minutes at a time—and always have a closing ritual: a high-five, a hug, or a “You did it” dance.

These little bookends turn academic time into something intentional—anchored in attention and care, rather than urgency and frustration.

When the signs go deeper

Sometimes, even your best efforts may not be enough. If your child is consistently exhausted, irritable, or emotionally withdrawn, it might signal more than temporary stress. In these cases, it’s worth exploring chronic fatigue related to mental overload or even school anxiety. Keep in mind: your child isn't failing—they're trying to communicate something deeper.

We unpack many of these signs—like Sunday night “stomachaches” or homework-related anxiety—in more detail throughout our blog. Identifying and labeling stress can itself bring relief and open up new pathways for support.

Your calm is the anchor

No app, strategy, or checklist can replace the quiet power of your presence. The simple act of being there—without fixing or hurrying—can dramatically shift your child’s inner world. Build your evenings not around productivity, but around presence. Everything else follows from that.

And most of all, be kind to yourself. You’re not failing if your child struggles. You’re showing up, learning, and adapting. That’s more than enough.

For more ideas on creating balance, connection, and ease at home, read our guide on lightening your child's mental load.