Is Your Child Feeling Down Since School Started? Here's How to Help

When Back-to-School Blues Turn into Something Deeper

It's week three of the new school year, and something feels off. Your usually cheerful child seems quieter. Grumpier. Exhausted. They drag their feet in the mornings and barely speak about their day. At first, you thought it was just the adjustment phase, but now you're wondering—is my child depressed?

If you're a parent staring into your child’s solemn face and feeling that knot of worry tighten in your chest, you're not alone. Many parents notice changes in mood and behavior in their kids aged 6 to 12 after the school year begins. Sometimes, it's just the fatigue of adjusting to new routines. But other times, it goes deeper, and it needs our attention.

Understanding the Signs: Fatigue, Withdrawal, and School Resistance

Children don't say “I'm depressed” outright. What we see instead are behaviors: mood swings, withdrawal from favorite activities, complaints of stomach aches, refusal to do homework, or even outright defiance when it comes to going to school.

A parent named Julia recently shared her story with us. Her 8-year-old son, Leo, had always loved school. But this September, everything changed. He became tearful in the mornings, complained of headaches before school, and didn’t want to play after his classes. At first, Julia thought he was being dramatic. But when Leo whispered, “I don’t like who I am at school,” she knew it wasn’t just tiredness—Leo was hurting.

Changes like these can emerge from a variety of school-related stressors: social anxiety, being overwhelmed academically, or even something as simple—but impactful—as no longer having a favorite teacher. If your child is crying before school or regularly saying they don’t want to go, it may be time to dig deeper. (Here’s how to tell if homework struggles are signs of stress.)

School Can Be an Emotional Battleground

Many children experience emotional overload due to the sheer structure and pressure of the school day. For a child with learning difficulties or anxiety, school can feel like a place where they constantly fall short. And because they’re still learning to express themselves, these intense feelings show up as irritability or fatigue. (We dive deeper into this in this guide about post-school fatigue.)

When emotional distress becomes chronic, it can have long-term effects on both motivation and self-esteem. For six-to-twelve-year-olds, who are developing crucial beliefs about themselves as learners, this can be especially harmful. That’s why it’s important to address what’s happening now—not wait a few more months in the hope that it’ll pass.

Gently Opening the Conversation

Start by creating quiet moments where your child can talk without pressure. Sometimes these moments happen not around the dinner table, but during a walk, while coloring, or even brushing teeth. Avoid asking, "What’s wrong?"—which can sound confrontational. Instead, try:

• "I’ve noticed school has felt kind of heavy lately. Want to tell me about it?"
• "Is there a part of your day that you wish looked different?"
• "If I had a magic wand to change one thing about school, what should I fix?"

Sometimes your child may not have the words, especially if they’re overwhelmed. That’s okay. What matters most is that they know you’re paying attention, that they’re not alone, and that you believe their emotions are real—even if they can’t explain them yet.

Reimagining the School Experience Through Small Wins

Once we understand the emotional root of the struggle, we can start to address it—not by pushing harder, but by creating tiny, hopeful wins. For example, if academics feel overwhelming, consider helping your child relearn a topic in a way that aligns with their strengths.

Take Maya, a 10-year-old who loves storytelling but struggles with science vocabulary. Instead of flipping through her usual study sheets, her parents helped her turn her biology lesson into a story where she became a brave explorer who survived on a mysterious planet by learning how cells work. Hearing her own name in the adventure became a turning point: she felt engaged, not judged. (One way some families achieve this is with tools that turn lessons into personalized audio stories—like the Skuli App, which blends learning with creativity beautifully.)

These tailored approaches may feel simple, but they rebuild confidence where school often erodes it. And that confidence becomes the foundation for motivation, which so many struggling children have lost.

Restoring Balance Outside of Academics

Sometimes the solution isn’t academic at all. It’s emotional. It’s physical. Often it’s about restoring joy in spaces that aren’t tethered to school or performance. That could mean reinstating quiet after-school hours with no agenda. Saying “no” to overscheduling. Prioritizing weekends that include movement, nature, or play. (If you’re unsure where to start, here’s a helpful piece on balancing play and learning.)

Think about your child’s week like a scale. If school is heavy, then moments of lightness, laughter, and rest are not luxuries—they’re survival mechanisms.

When to Seek Additional Help

There’s also no shame in seeking professional guidance. If your child’s mood has been low for more than a few weeks, if they talk about wanting to escape or disappear, or if their daily functioning is significantly affected, trust your instincts and consult your pediatrician or a child therapist.

Depression doesn’t always look like sadness—it can look like zoning out, irritability, silence, or big explosions. As parents, we don’t need to have all the answers, but we do need to be brave enough to ask questions, seek help, and keep standing beside our child.

Moving with Compassion: For Them and For You

If your child is struggling emotionally since the school year began, it might feel like a heartbreak you weren’t prepared for. But you’re not failing them. The fact that you’re here, reading this, is proof of just how much you care.

It’s okay to pause, recalibrate, and even redefine what success looks like right now. You don’t need to solve everything in a day. Focus on connection over correction. Let your child know: their worth is not measured by school performance, and you’ll walk this path together.

For more tools and reflections on supporting children through academic stress, explore our deeper guide to real-life solutions for school stress, or unpack whether your child’s struggles may be related to too much academic pressure.