Is Your Child Anxious at School? Here's What You Can Do

When school becomes a source of stress

Every morning, you see it—the hunched shoulders, the nervous chewing of breakfast, or the sudden stomachaches right before school. Maybe your child clings to you at drop-off, or maybe they put on a brave face but come home emotionally drained, quiet, or irritable. If your child is experiencing anxiety at school, you're not alone. It's more common than many of us imagine, and it can be deeply unsettling as a parent. You want to help—but how?

Understanding the roots of school anxiety

First, it’s important to realize that anxiety shows up differently in each child. For some, it's the pressure of perfectionism. For others, it's social struggles or fear of making mistakes in front of peers. And in many cases, it's not one big thing—it’s a slow build-up of small, daily challenges.

Children between 6 and 12 are navigating a world that demands sitting still, focusing for long periods, and understanding abstract concepts, all while managing friendships and emotions. Some kids are simply wired to be more sensitive to these stressors. And yet, anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with your child—it usually means their environment and support systems need adjusting.

In our article on helping kids cope with school stress, we explored how environmental factors like noise, pace, and workload can fuel school-related anxiety. Knowing this can help you be more empathetic and intentional about the support you offer.

Creating a safe space at home

School can be demanding and overwhelming, so home needs to be its counterbalance. Imagine your home as the decompression zone—a place where your child can refuel emotionally and mentally. That might mean giving them time to talk through their day at their own pace, or simply allowing moments of quiet without questions.

Some parents find that what works best is connection before correction. If your child bursts into tears over math homework, it’s not because they’re lazy or dramatic—it’s likely because their nervous system has been on high alert all day. Start with presence: sit beside them, hold their hand, breathe together. Then gently move into the task.

If you sense that your child struggles to process classroom material on top of emotional overwhelm, consider how they learn best. Some kids relax more with audio-based learning, especially during low-pressure moments like a bedtime routine or car ride. Tools that convert written lessons into audio—like educational apps that make school material easier to digest—can be surprisingly effective. For example, some parents use apps like Skuli to turn their child's written lessons into personalized audio adventures. Hearing the lesson told as a story where your child is the hero can flip something stressful into something enjoyable.

Supporting emotional literacy

One of the most powerful tools we can give a child facing school anxiety is words. The ability to name what they’re feeling—without shame—can change everything. Start small. Instead of asking, “How was school?” try, “What was the hardest part of the day?” or “When did you feel nervous today?”

In our deep dive on emotional literacy, we explain how children who can identify their emotions—and who feel safe expressing them—have stronger attention spans and better stress management.

You might also consider emotion-focused rituals. Some parents keep a daily check-in notebook where their child draws or writes one thing that felt good and one thing that didn’t. It creates a gentle, ongoing conversation about how they’re doing—without pressure.

Looking beneath the surface of anxiety

Sometimes, anxiety is a symptom of something deeper. Learning struggles, sensory sensitivities, bullying, or even undiagnosed ADHD can all manifest as school-related anxiety. If your child consistently dreads school, seems to fall behind despite trying, or expresses physical symptoms like headaches and nausea, it may be time to dig deeper.

Your child’s teacher is often a valuable partner here. Ask for a candid conversation—what do they notice? Are there patterns in your child’s behavior? Does the anxiety seem tied to a particular subject or time of day?

Be open to outside support. Schools often have psychologists, counselors, or support teams who can help identify and accommodate your child’s needs. You can also reach out to a private therapist who specializes in child anxiety. It’s not a failure—it’s a step toward clarity and healing.

Consistency and predictability are your secret tools

Anxious kids crave predictability. They want to know what’s coming and that they can handle it. At home, you can help by keeping a steady rhythm to the day—especially around mornings and bedtimes.

Build rituals of calm into their routine: walking partway to school together, a special handshake at drop-off, or a short breathing exercise before homework. These rituals become anchors that steady your child when emotions start to swirl.

And don't forget sleep—fatigue heightens anxiety. If bedtime is a battle or your child doesn’t feel rested, you might find our guides on how sleep impacts school performance and preventing sleep-related learning problems especially valuable.

Final thoughts: walking this road together

There is no one-size-fits-all fix, and that’s hard to accept when your child is struggling. But your empathy, your willingness to listen, your presence—it matters more than you may realize. You are your child’s safe harbor, and just knowing you’re there, consistently and calmly, can be enough to bring down the storm.

Anxiety doesn’t define your child. With the right tools, support, and compassion, they can thrive—not in spite of their fears, but because they’ve learned to face them in a safe, supported way. And as their parent, you are the most important part of that process.