Is It Normal That My Child Doesn’t Like Going to School?

When the Morning Starts with Tears

You watch the clock. It’s already 7:32 a.m., and your child still hasn’t gotten out of bed. Minutes later, the protests begin—"Do I really have to go? I hate school!" You're torn between compassion and the need to get out the door. If this scene feels familiar, you’re not alone—and no, you’re not a bad parent. Thousands of families quietly battle through these tough school mornings. But the question still lingers: Is it normal for a child not to like school?

Disliking School Is Common—But It’s Not Always the Same Thing

Let’s take a step back. It’s actually quite common for children to go through phases of resistance or even dread when it comes to school. Some don't enjoy the social dynamics, some feel overwhelmed by the academic pressure, others find the routine stifling. However, just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s something you need to simply accept and wait out.

Pediatric psychologists often say that dislike of school is rarely about laziness or defiance—it’s about something deeper: anxiety, boredom, learning difficulties, or a mismatch between a child’s learning style and their school's teaching approach. You might find that your child's reluctance is actually a whisper of distress, one that deserves gentle investigation rather than just discipline or motivation.

Start by Listening Beyond the Words

When a child says "I don't like school," the instinct is often to fix the situation quickly. But sometimes what they really need is to be understood. Instead of leaping into problem-solving mode, try just being present. Ask questions like:

• "What part of school feels the hardest right now?"
• "If you could change one thing about your school day, what would it be?"
• "When was the last time you had fun at school? What were you doing?"

These conversations can open a window into what’s really bothering them—whether it’s trouble with a classmate, shame about a reading struggle, or simply a feeling of being invisible in the classroom.

What If School Isn’t a Good Fit Right Now?

It’s hard to admit, but traditional schooling doesn’t work for every child. Some kids are sensory-sensitive. Others thrive emotionally but can't grasp what they're learning. Some are bursting with creativity yet feel stifled by rigid curricula. When school doesn’t align with a child's needs, they may start fearing it, or worse, disconnecting from learning entirely.

In situations like these, it’s worth considering how you can adapt the learning experience, even if the school itself isn't customizable. For instance, if reading comprehension is a struggle, consider turning textbooks into audio lessons to use during relaxing moments—like car rides or bedtime. (Some tools—like Skuli—make this easy by transforming written lessons into engaging audio stories tailored to your child's name and interest areas.)

You might find that giving your child alternative ways to engage with learning outside the classroom rekindles curiosity. If you’re unsure how to start, this article on adapting your child’s learning journey may offer some clarity.

But I Thought Kids Were Supposed to Just... Go to School?

Yes, school is a part of growing up, and resilience is important. But equally vital is the message we send our children about their worth and how they learn. Going to school shouldn't feel like a punishment; it should be a place where their curiosity is welcomed and their challenges are met with support.

One exhausted mom I coached, Sarah, told me about her son Noah, 8, who refused school almost daily. His teachers described him as "unmotivated." But at home, she saw how eager he was to explore mechanics and storytelling. The breakthrough came when they began turning his science lessons into simple at-home experiments and using short, interactive quizzes—built from his actual worksheets—to reinforce learning in bite-sized ways. You could see the shift: once Noah experienced progress on his terms, he stopped seeing school as an enemy.

If you’ve reached the point where homework causes meltdowns or school nights are soaked in tears, something needs to change. Not just for your child, but so your home can feel like a safe base again.

Your Child Isn’t Broken—But the System Might Be

One of the hardest truths, especially for deeply caring parents, is accepting that our public education systems don’t always know how to meet the needs of every unique learner. Your child isn’t flawed for not loving school. They may be sensitive, strong-willed, misunderstood, or incredibly bright in nontraditional ways.

When you dare to pay attention to their dislike of school and ask, “What are you really trying to tell me?”, you are already helping them learn differently. That act alone is massive.

For real-life steps on how to respond when your child starts saying things like "I hate school," you might appreciate this article on responding with empathy and calm authority.

Not Loving School Is a Sign—Not a Verdict

No parent dreams of their child dreading school every day. But your response—your courage to adapt, listen, investigate, and empower—can change everything. The discomfort you're feeling? It's actually an invitation to co-author a more joyful learning experience.

There’s no shame in noticing that the current approach isn’t working. And there’s huge hope in knowing that support exists—whether that’s through creative tools, flexible routines, or reimagining what learning looks like at home.

Above all, remember this: helping your child fall in love with learning isn’t about turning them into a perfect student. It’s about helping them feel safe, seen, and capable. That’s a far stronger foundation—and one that can last a lifetime.

And if you're wondering how to make learning come alive again, with spark and adventure instead of stress, you're already asking the right questions.