How to Support a Struggling Child at School When You Have a Big Family

When One Child Needs More, But All of Them Need You

When your household hums with the laughter, spills, arguments, and noise of five or six kids, the idea of giving special attention to just one of them feels close to impossible. And yet, when one of your children starts struggling at school—coming home with teary eyes or crumpled worksheets—your heart knows they need more from you. But where do you find that “more” when you already feel stretched thin?

Let’s be real: parenting in a large family can already feel like a full-time logistics job. On top of homework, dinners, and bedtime routines, how do you find time to support the child who is falling behind—or losing confidence faster than you can rebuild it?

There’s no magic wand. But there are real, doable approaches that many parents in big families have found helpful. You don't need to be a perfect parent. You just need a few intentional shifts in mindset and some creative problem-solving.

Knowing It’s Not About Equal Time—It’s About What Each Child Needs

With multiple children, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to be fair by giving each child the same amount of attention. But equity isn’t equality. Fairness sometimes means pouring more into the child who’s struggling right now—and softening your own guilt about it.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your other kids. Instead, it means looking at your time and energy with flexibility. Maybe older siblings can take on more independent activities one evening, or perhaps a family chore chart can carve out ten extra minutes for you to sit with the child who needs extra support. (You can find ideas on sharing chores in big families here.)

Weaving Support Into Everyday Moments

You may not have an extra hour to sit slumped over a math book, but you likely have pockets of time that can be used with more intention. Cooking dinner? Let your struggling child sit nearby and quiz you on vocabulary words while you chop vegetables. Driving between soccer pickups? Turn that drive time into mini tutoring sessions—or simply listen, without judgment, as they talk through what’s been hard lately at school.

Some families have found that children struggling with concentration or reading retention benefit when lessons are presented in audio. For kids like this, the Skuli App can transform written school material into personalized audio adventures using your child’s name—making passive listening time something valuable, even magical. The car no longer feels wasted; it becomes their brave learning journey.

The Power of One-on-One Connection—even for 15 Minutes

In a house full of competing needs, it’s easy for one-on-one moments to vanish unless they're planned. The truth is, even 15 minutes of focused connection can move mountains for a child who feels lost or discouraged.

Create rituals that belong just to the two of you—reading a chapter book together each night, reviewing a lesson with flashcards curled up on the couch, or making their favorite toast after dinner and talking through the day’s school stress. These micro-moments tell your child: “I see you. You matter. I’m here.”

And if you’re looking for ways to turn homework resistance into play? Take a look at ideas for learning through fun in large families.

Inviting Siblings to Be Part of the Circle

In big families, one of your greatest resources is... your other children. While you obviously don’t want older siblings to become full-time tutors or caregivers, involving them meaningfully can benefit everyone. A patient older sibling might enjoy quizzing a younger one on their multiplication tables. A highly verbal child might love creating a made-up story to help their brother grasp a difficult science concept.

When your kids help each other, it builds solidarity, not just efficiency. You’re not trying to outsource parenting—the goal is to nurture a family culture where helping, listening, and patience are normal.

Giving Yourself Grace and Letting Go of Perfection

No one gets it right every day. Sometimes, your most sensitive child will not get as much support as they need. Sometimes, the day will end in tears. That’s okay. What matters most is the rhythm of things over time—not the soundtrack of one rough day.

Give yourself grace. Make peace with imperfect efforts. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the number of moving parts in supporting homework across multiple kids, this article might help: creating smoother homework routines.

A Final Thought: You Are Already Enough

When one child struggles, it’s natural to wonder if you’re doing enough, being enough. But just by reading this article—seeking small, human ways to show up—you already are.

Even if every solution doesn’t land today, your presence matters. Your effort is seen. And your child? They’ll remember that their parent tried—not perfectly, but lovingly.

And on those days when it feels impossible to help anyone, especially the one falling behind, remember: it’s okay to ask for support yourself. Technology and community both exist to lighten your load. You don’t have to do this alone.

If you’re wondering how to foster individual passions across your big and busy household, especially around reading, this guide on encouraging reading in large families might be your next stop.