How to Recognize Signs of a Gifted Child (HPI) Between the Ages of 6 and 12

Understanding the Subtle Signs of High Potential in Children

You’ve probably noticed something different about your child. Maybe they ask questions that surprise you, show intense curiosity, or seem to be light years ahead of their classmates in some areas—but can also be deeply frustrated with school. If you’ve ever wondered whether your child might be a high-potential learner (HPI, or "haut potentiel intellectuel" in French), you’re not alone.

Between the ages of 6 and 12, giftedness doesn’t always show up as we imagine: straight A's, a love of reading, and model behavior. In fact, for many children, it’s the opposite—boredom, emotional outbursts, avoidance of homework, or even behavioral struggles. Recognizing the signs of HPI can help exhausted parents take a breath and begin offering the support their children need.

Giftedness Is Not Just About Intelligence

One of the most common misconceptions is that an HPI child is simply “very smart.” But high potential is much more nuanced. Many gifted children are asynchronous—they may have advanced intellectual reasoning but remain very age-appropriate (or even delayed) emotionally. This mismatch can create school struggles that look a lot like behavioral problems, perfectionism, or a lack of motivation.

A mother I once worked with described her 8-year-old daughter, Léa, as “being 30 years old one moment and 5 the next.” Léa would solve 6th grade math problems in her head, yet completely meltdown when her homework wasn't perfect. For years, it was mistaken for anxiety—until a specialist finally pointed out that she was gifted.

Key Signs You Might Be Parenting a Gifted Child

Although every child is unique, there are signs that often point toward high intellectual potential:

• Unusual sensitivity – Many gifted kids react strongly to injustice, cruelty, or even certain sounds or textures.
• An intense need to understand – They ask big questions: about death, time, ethics, or the universe—often way before their peers.
• Low tolerance for boredom – Standard classroom work may frustrate them if it doesn't provide challenge or meaning.
• Perfectionism or fear of failure – Gifted kids often avoid tasks they’re not instantly good at, fearing they’re “not really smart” if they fail.
• A quirky sense of humor and rich imagination – They may invent elaborate stories, or switch between characters mid-play.

To explore this topic further, you can read our deeper dive on how to identify if your child is gifted and what you can do next.

When School Becomes a Stress Point

For many HPI children, school feels like an uncomfortable fit. Teachers may not notice the signs of giftedness—especially if the child is underachieving or “acting out.” Stereotypes persist: if a child isn’t topping every subject, they’re not gifted. But giftedness is complex. It may coexist with learning challenges like dyslexia, ADHD, or anxiety.

What's heartbreaking is how many of these children internalize the message that they are "difficult" or "lazy," when in reality they're overwhelmed, under-stimulated, or misunderstood. If you suspect this is true for your child, this article about gamifying homework for kids with attention challenges explores how play and engagement can change everything.

Supporting Their Learning Style—Not Fighting It

One powerful shift for parents is to stop asking, “Why won’t my child focus?” and instead ask, “What helps my child engage?” Many HPI children don’t learn well in traditional note-taking or rote-memory environments. They thrive on challenge, storytelling, and having some control over how they absorb new information.

For example, if your child loses interest midway through homework or can’t sit still while you explain a lesson, they might benefit from auditory learning. One parent transformed the bedtime routine by letting their 10-year-old listen to history lessons while falling asleep—and suddenly, history became her favorite subject.

Tools that adapt to the child’s way of learning can make a big difference. Some apps, like Skuli, allow you to turn a written lesson into an audio adventure featuring your child's own name, giving them the lead role in their learning. Instead of dreading homework, it becomes something they look forward to.

Emotional Intelligence and Friendships

Socially speaking, gifted kids sometimes have a hard time “fitting in.” They might not enjoy what their peers enjoy or may feel isolated by their deep interests. But they may also lack the emotional maturity to navigate this disconnect, leading to loneliness or even bullying at school.

Helping your child name and understand their emotions can provide grounding. Invite conversations about friendship struggles and celebrate their unique interests—even if their best friend is a book about black holes.

You might also consider alternative educational methods. For some families, models like Montessori or individualized learning plans provide the breathing room these children need.

Reframing the Story: From “Too Much” to “So Much Potential”

Perhaps the most powerful thing you can do as a parent is to reframe how you see your child’s intensity, curiosity, or stubbornness. These aren’t flaws to “fix”—they’re traits that, when supported gently and creatively, can flourish into confidence, resilience, and lifelong love of learning.

Yes, parenting an HPI child can feel like running a marathon you didn’t train for—but you’re not alone. And with the right support system, including adaptive tools, compassionate educators, and open-hearted connection at home, your child’s amazing potential can shine.

If you're navigating some of these challenges, you may also want to explore your rights with the school system or how to select engaging books for neurodiverse or intense learners.