How to Help Your Child Overcome the Fear of Making Mistakes

“I don’t want to get it wrong.”

Have you heard your child say that before? Maybe it’s when they’re stuck on a math word problem, their hand frozen mid-air, hovering over a pencil as if it might explode. Or perhaps they rush through a history worksheet not because they understand it, but because they’re terrified of being wrong if they stop and really think.

Fear of mistakes is one of the most invisible yet powerful blocks to learning. For children aged 6 to 12—whose growing brains thrive on exploration, testing, and trial-and-error—it can be paralyzing. And when that fear sets in, homework time can become a battle zone of tears, avoidance, or angry declarations like, “I’m just stupid.”

As parents, we want to swoop in and fix it. But this fear isn’t a simple fix. It’s a pattern of thought and emotion that has taken root—and the good news is, with patience and the right tools, it can be transformed.

Where Does This Fear Come From?

Fear of being wrong often stems from two places: perfectionism and shame. Sometimes children internalize that making a mistake means they aren’t smart, or they’ve somehow disappointed someone—their teacher, their friends, or you. Over time, this turns school into a risky place where errors carry too much emotional weight. Instead of a space to learn, it becomes a place to tiptoe through.

And often, this isn't born from something dramatic. It can come from small, everyday interactions—being laughed at for a mistake, a frown from a teacher, or even a peer who always seems to have the right answer.

Creating a Safe Space to Fail

When kids are scared to make errors, we need to make failure not just acceptable—but visible, safe, and even a little funny. At home, this means letting go of the goal of “getting it right the first time.” Instead, focus on creating moments where they see that mistakes help them grow.

Take a moment during homework to say out loud, “Oops! I thought this answer was 24, but I see now it’s 26—I missed a step.” This kind of modeling is powerful. It shows your child that smart people make mistakes too—and move on.

Another tool? Reframing praise. Instead of saying “You’re so smart,” try “I love how you figured that out!” or “You kept trying even when it was hard!” These subtle shifts focus attention on the process, not just the result.

In our article on why self-confidence is the missing key to your child’s success, we explore how celebrating effort over outcome changes a child’s entire relationship to learning. Fear doesn’t stand a chance when confidence grows roots.

When Mistakes Feel Like Personal Failures

Some children, especially those who are sensitive or who struggle academically, see mistakes as deeply personal. A missed answer feels like a character flaw: “I’m not good enough.” And when that mindset entrenches itself, motivation withers.

To help your child shift that mindset, you can try a technique I call the “mistake jar.” Each time someone in the family makes a mistake and learns from it, they write it down on a slip of paper and drop it in the jar. At the end of the week, you read them out loud (anonymously if needed) and celebrate them. Some might be silly. Others touching. But all of them will help normalize what it means to fall and get back up.

Let Them Take Small Risks—On Their Own Terms

Children who fear failure often avoid risk. But small, manageable risks—like answering a question out loud or attempting a challenging problem without help—need to be encouraged more gently.

One mom I worked with told me her son would shut down if she offered help during math. So, we tried something new. He snapped a photo of the lesson from his notebook and turned it into a custom 20-question quiz using the Skuli app. Because he could work independently, at his own pace, with questions tailored to exactly what he was struggling with, he started feeling more confident. The best part? The quiz gave him immediate feedback—but in a way that didn’t feel judgmental. He could go back, re-try, and improve. Quietly. Privately. Casually.

Help Them Turn the Page

If your child comes home from school frustrated because they “messed up” again, resist the urge to dive into fixing mode. Instead, say, “Sounds like today didn’t go how you hoped. Want to tell me about it?” Just listening can be a balm. Then, ask, “What would you do differently next time? What did you learn today that might help you tomorrow?”

This is a subtle but powerful shift. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, you guide them to focus on what they can do next. This nudge begins the work of building resilience—and it tells your child, without saying it outright, that being wrong today doesn’t make tomorrow any less possible.

Build Confidence in Small Doses

If this fear feels too big right now, start where your child does feel confident. Maybe it’s drawing, playing with Legos, or storytelling. One dad recently told me he turned his daughter’s science textbook chapter into an audio adventure using her first name—through a tool she now eagerly asks for on car rides. (It made her feel like the main character while learning!)

Confidence doesn’t always begin in the classroom. But once it starts, it can spill over.

For more ideas on how to build emotional strength step by step, read our guide on boosting your child’s self-esteem, or explore some confidence-boosting games you can play together tonight.

You’re Not Alone in This

All children will trip up, make mistakes, and sometimes feel embarrassed by them. But for kids trapped by the fear of being wrong, the journey needs a little more grace and a lot more patience. You don’t need to solve everything overnight. Keep showing up. Keep encouraging effort. Help them rewrite the story they tell themselves—not “I’m always wrong,” but “I can always try again.”

And remember: it’s okay if you’re learning how to do this as you go. That makes you a model of growth, too.

Explore more ways to support your child’s confidence in learning by reading how to help your child feel capable of succeeding or learn strategies for encouraging them to speak up with confidence.