How to Help a Child Who Struggles to Follow Instructions at School

Understanding the Struggle Behind Not Following Instructions

You’ve likely been there—your child comes home with notes from the teacher saying they’re not following directions, their homework is incomplete, or they didn’t understand a class activity. Maybe you’ve even watched them at the kitchen table, staring at their assignments with confusion or making mistakes that seem so avoidable... if only they had listened. But here's the truth: for many kids, especially between ages 6 to 12, following instructions is not as simple as we’d like to believe.

When your child struggles with this, it’s not a matter of laziness or defiance. Often, it's about how they process language, attention span, motivation, or even stress levels. And as a parent, watching them struggle can make you feel helpless, frustrated, or worse—worried that something deeper might be wrong. But take heart. There’s real hope, and you don’t have to go it alone.

The Real Reasons Behind Struggling with Instructions

Before jumping to solutions, it’s worth reflecting on why your child might be having a hard time following directions. Sometimes we think they’re ignoring us or not taking school seriously, when really, their brain is working overtime just trying to filter information. Here are a few possibilities:

• Auditory processing difficulties: Some kids just don’t process spoken language efficiently. They might catch the first part of the instruction but completely miss the rest.
• Working memory limits: Instructions that include multiple steps can overwhelm a child whose working memory is still developing.
• Distraction and overstimulation: A noisy classroom or competing stimuli can make it almost impossible for a child to focus long enough to absorb verbal directions.
• Lack of motivation or emotional stress: If school feels like a place where they often fail, some kids shut down—not out of defiance, but as self-protection.

If any of these hit home, know this: your child's struggle can be supported and improved. But it starts with shifting our approach.

Slowing Down and Speaking Their Language

One of the first things you can do is simplify how you deliver information. At home, instead of rattling off five steps at once, try breaking down your instructions into smaller, bite-sized pieces. For example, instead of saying "Pack your bag, brush your teeth, and get your shoes on," try: "First, pack your bag. Let me know when you’re done, and we’ll do the next thing."

Also consider how your child best absorbs information. Some kids are visual learners and benefit from charts or lists. Others are auditory learners—which means they absorb and retain information better through listening. If that’s your child, you might enjoy this deep dive into the surprising advantages of audio learning.

Rehearsal, Not Just Reminders

One strategy that works wonders is turning instruction-following into a routine they’ve rehearsed. Children learn through repetition—just as they practice piano or soccer drills, they can practice following instructions. Make it a game: give a silly two-step instruction (“Clap twice and touch your nose”), then slowly increase the complexity.

You can also help your child internalize key instructions from school material through creative review. One powerful tool we’ve seen families respond to is transforming lessons into interactive audio adventures where kids hear back stories featuring themselves as the heroes—a feature available in the Skuli App. Not only does this make learning more engaging, but hearing directions as part of a story can improve listening retention dramatically.

Helping at Homework Time

When homework feels like a war zone, it’s usually not about the assignments themselves—it’s about the emotional baggage behind them. If your child feels confused about what to do, the task grows heavier by the minute. Instead of asking “Why didn’t you follow the instructions?”, try sitting beside them the first few minutes and reading the directions out loud together. Pause and paraphrase. “So what does this question want you to do first?”

Also, consider alternative ways for your child to engage with homework instructions. If instructions are written, but your child is a better listener than reader, you might look into tools that convert lesson text into audio—for instance, while driving to practice or during quiet time at home. That doubles the exposure and can make abstract tasks feel much more manageable.

And if your child needs extra engagement, check out how you can turn homework into a game-like experience. When kids enjoy the process, they’re much more likely to listen and follow through.

Building the Internal Drive to Try

Sometimes, the issue goes deeper: your child knows the instructions but just... doesn’t act. In these cases, motivation plays a big role. If instructions feel pointless or disconnected from their interests, your child may check out mentally. That’s when it helps to tie learning tasks into their world—ask questions that connect to what they love, and show them how following directions can lead to success in areas that matter to them.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to read about how motivation directly shapes school success. Once children feel that sense of inner purpose, everything—including following instructions—gets easier.

Be Patient, and Celebrate the Small Wins

Helping a child who struggles to follow instructions is not an overnight fix. But with consistent support, clear communication, and realistic expectations, things will improve. Every time your child successfully completes a task—even if prompted—praise their effort. These small victories create momentum.

And remember: instruction-following is deeply tied to language development, attention, and emotional regulation. If you're curious about improving those areas too, this guide on language development and critical thinking is another great next step.

At the end of the day, your child doesn’t need to be perfect—they just need someone who sees their potential and believes in them. And they have you for that.