How to Handle Homework Struggles with a Child Who Has Learning Difficulties
When Homework Becomes a Battleground
You're not alone if you find yourself dreading homework time as much as your child does. Many parents of children between the ages of 6 and 12 feel beaten down by nightly struggles, begging, and tears. You want to help, but you're met with resistance, frustration, and often a heartbreaking sense of failure — both yours and your child’s.
Especially when your child has learning difficulties, whether diagnosed or not, homework can become much more than a simple task. It can feel like climbing a mountain every afternoon. But here's the good news: there’s no one “perfect” way to manage homework, and what your child needs most isn’t perfection — it’s understanding, consistency, and emotional safety.
Understanding What's Really Going On
Sometimes, what looks like laziness or lack of effort is actually something else entirely. Children with learning challenges may struggle with focus, memory, processing speed, or simply understanding the instructions. What takes other kids 20 minutes can take your child over an hour — with mounting frustration along the way.
It’s worth pausing and asking: are these tantrums or shutdowns a symptom of something deeper? Some kids feel literal physical discomfort like stomachaches during homework time due to stress and anxiety. Being tuned in to these signs can dramatically shift how you approach supporting your child.
Shift the Role: From Manager to Ally
Our instinct as parents is often to take control — to sit down beside our child, push them through the worksheet, and correct the errors along the way. But imagine how it feels for your child to carry the weight of school struggles all day, only to come home and be met with a second round of performance expectations.
Try reconceptualizing your role. You're not your child's tutor, and you're not the homework police. Think of yourself as an ally, someone walking alongside them, not pushing from behind. This shift can make an enormous difference in your child’s self-confidence and your emotional connection with them.
Find the Right Homework Rhythm
Children who struggle in school often need decompressing time before starting homework. Observe what seems to help your child transition: maybe it’s a snack, outdoor play, or a calming activity. Build in rituals that signal that homework time is approaching without turning it into a dreaded event.
Keep sessions short and structured. Break the work into chunks, and allow mini-breaks. Sometimes a 10-minute task followed by a break is more productive than an hour of frustrated sitting. Creating a peaceful homework atmosphere at home also helps lower emotional defenses, especially for sensitive children.
Make Learning Feel Less Like Work
One of the hardest parts about homework for struggling students is feeling like it’s all about finding the right answer. Instead, shift the goal: it’s about progress, not perfection. Celebrate effort. Praise risk-taking and persistence more than correctness.
To help reinforce lessons without adding pressure, look for playful, engaging ways to review the day's learning. For instance, if your child freezes up the moment they see their math notebook, you can snap a picture of the lesson and turn it into a custom quiz using tools like the Skuli App. That way, they practice the same concepts in a lighter, gamified format — perfect for reviewing material without the stress of red pens or correction marks.
And for kids who retain more by hearing than reading, Skuli also allows you to convert written lessons into audio explanations or even adventurous audio stories using your child’s first name. These can be listened to while driving or during quiet playtime, reducing the pressure and offering a different entry point into learning.
Accept the Limits and Know When to Say “That’s Enough”
Let go of the idea that every assignment must be completed at all costs. If a seven-year-old has spent 40 minutes earnestly trying to do a worksheet and is now melting, it is okay to stop. Write a respectful note to the teacher explaining what happened. Most teachers are more understanding than we fear — and it gives them useful insight into what your child can manage at home.
This doesn’t mean lowering expectations, but rather adjusting them to meet your child where they actually are. You might revisit later when emotions are cooler, or let it go altogether. Homework is only one piece of a child’s learning journey — and its actual value in elementary school is debatable.
Build Communication with Teachers
Establishing open conversations with your child’s teacher can make a world of difference. Let them know which types of assignments are most difficult, when meltdowns are occurring, or whether directions are unclear. Clear collaboration ensures that the expectations at home align with what your child is truly capable of handling.
If managing homework is constantly overwhelming, even with adjustments, it may be time to explore further support. A neuropsychological evaluation, discussion with a school counselor, or an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) can provide the clarity and accommodations your child needs.
Balance When You Have Multiple Kids
If homework is hard with just one child, it can feel impossible with two or more — especially if their needs differ. Balancing sibling homework time takes both structure and flexibility, sometimes involving staggered focus, shared responsibilities, or rotating one-on-one support.
The Long View: You’re Raising a Learner, Not Just Completing Assignments
Always remember: homework is not a measure of you as a parent. Nor is it the ultimate proof of your child's ability or future success. Your calm, supportive presence matters much more than any finished worksheet. The goal is not just to get through reading logs and math problems — but to raise a child who feels seen, safe, and increasingly confident in their ability to learn.
And for now, that may mean less focus on getting homework done, and more on how you both feel while doing it. That’s where real, lasting progress starts.