How to Encourage a Child Who Needs More Time to Learn at School

When Progress Feels Slow: You're Not Alone

You've noticed it. Maybe during homework time, or while listening to your child read aloud. They pause more than others. They need instructions repeated. They might sit for hours trying to finish an assignment that their classmates finished at school. And as a parent, your heart quietly aches watching their confidence chip away day by day.

First, let me say this: your child is not broken. Struggling doesn't mean failing—it simply means they’re learning in their own rhythm. And as exhausting as this journey may feel some days, you have more power than you think to help them find their own kind of success.

The Myth of "Catching Up"

Many children between six and twelve develop academically at different speeds. Some read fluently at age six; others need until they're ten. And yet, despite years of research supporting individualized learning, the traditional school system can sometimes send an unintentional message: “The faster, the better.”

But that’s not how learning truly works. Studies have shown that every child needs their own learning pace. Rushing a child through reading or multiplication just to "keep up" may not help them in the long term—in fact, it could lead to more frustration or aversion toward learning altogether.

Building Confidence One Moment at a Time

Instead of focusing on speed, shift your attention to small wins. Celebrate whatever progress your child makes—no matter how minor it seems. When a child feels seen and validated for their effort, they’re more likely to stay engaged and keep trying.

For instance, one parent I spoke with told me how her 9-year-old daughter struggled with math word problems. Instead of pushing more worksheets, she started asking her daughter to "teach" the problem back to her out loud. At first, it was messy. But slowly, the child began to form her own understanding. She even started inventing silly examples about puppies and skateboards to explain math concepts to her mom.

That shift—from feeling behind to taking ownership—can be transformative.

Turn Lessons Into Something Personally Yours

When a child struggles to process lessons at the pace of their peers, personalization becomes a key bridge. As a parent, you can help bring subjects to life in ways that resonate deeply with your child’s learning preferences.

Does your child light up when stories are involved? Or maybe they retain better by listening? Simple shifts—like listening to a lesson aloud during a car ride or turning it into an interactive game—can create powerful “aha” moments.

In our home, we started using a tool that turns a school photo of a lesson into a 20-question quiz tailored to our child’s learning needs—a quiet evening review disguised as play. Even more exciting was the option to turn a boring history chapter into an audio adventure where our son became the hero, using his own first name as the main character. What felt like schoolwork transformed into a bedtime journey he actually looked forward to. (Parents: the Skuli App on iOS and Android offers this kind of experience.)

Emotional Support: More Than Just Homework Help

The deepest challenge many children face when learning more slowly isn’t actually academic—it’s emotional. Frustration turns into self-doubt. Children start questioning if they’re “not smart.” As a parent, your most powerful role is being the calm in their storm.

Here’s what backing them emotionally looks like:

• Reassuring them that taking more time is normal—not something to be ashamed of.
• Reminding them that everyone’s brain works differently. Share stories of others (including yourself) who struggled and succeeded.
• Letting them express frustration without immediately solving the problem. Sometimes, what they need is to be heard, not fixed.

If you’re wondering how involved you should be with their learning at home, this guide on understanding your role during homework can help you strike the balance between support and independence.

Invite Joy Back Into Learning

Long days. Tears at the table. Frustrated sighs from both sides. Sound familiar? When learning is consistently hard, joy quietly slips out the door. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Give yourselves permission to laugh during learning time. If your child is stuck on a spelling list, try practicing the words with silly accents. If math brings tears, make problems out of real-life interests—video games, cooking, Legos.

And if you’re dealing with a subject your child especially dreads (math, anyone?), consider reading this piece on how to make your child fall in love with math at home. Spoiler: It doesn’t involve more drills.

Dear Parent: You’re Doing More Than Enough

No blog article can magically ease your child’s unique path. But I hope this one offers a sense of direction—and a reminder that progress doesn’t always look like perfect test scores or finished worksheets.

If your child is taking longer to learn, it’s not a sign of failure—it's a call for slower spaces, deeper connection, playful tools, and unwavering belief that they can get there at their own pace.

If you're curious about practical ways to support this, this caring guide for parents of slower learners offers step-by-step insight. Or, if you’re ready to build structured but flexible habits, here’s how to help your child learn at their own pace at home.

Above all, keep showing up with love, patience, and curiosity. That alone makes all the difference.