How to Encourage a Child Who Feels Overwhelmed at School

When Your Child Feels Like They're Drowning

Your child stares blankly at their homework, pencil unmoving, frustration building behind tired eyes. You've tried to help, but everything only seems to add to their confusion. Maybe they’ve started saying things like “I’m stupid” or “I’ll never get this.” It’s heartbreaking—and exhausting.

If you're a parent of a child between 6 and 12 who feels overwhelmed by school or homework, you're not alone. Many children experience moments where learning feels like climbing a mountain in flip-flops. In those moments, what they need most isn’t a tutor, more worksheets, or a long lecture—they need your understanding and encouragement, backed by tools that meet them where they are.

Start With Compassion, Not Correction

Children who feel overwhelmed often carry a silent belief: "I must be broken because this is hard for me, but it seems easy for others." When your child has shut down, pushing them harder can send the message that your love depends on their performance. Instead, try to separate their worth from their schoolwork. Say things like:

• "I see this is tough for you, and that’s okay. Some things are tough for me too."
• "You’re doing your best, and I’m proud of how you’re trying."
• "Let’s take this step-by-step together."

This doesn’t mean never setting expectations—it means approaching difficulty with grace. If your child is unusually anxious or seems frequently frustrated, you might also find this article helpful to explore the signs of frustration or boredom at school.

Make the Challenge Feel Smaller

One of the biggest reasons kids feel overwhelmed is that they can’t see the way through a task. That paragraph of text to memorize, that math worksheet, that science concept—it looks insurmountable. You can help by shrinking the mountain into foothills. Instead of doing the whole worksheet, do one line. Instead of reading all the text, read and discuss just one chunk.

This is not about "dumbing down" learning. It’s about helping your child learn at their own pace—a pace that motivates instead of crushes. Think of it like adding a ladder to their tall wall instead of telling them to jump.

Use Their Learning Style as a Guide, Not a Label

Some children struggle not because they can’t understand, but because the material is presented in a way that doesn’t click for them. Maybe your child zones out during written instruction but lights up when hearing a story. Or maybe they need to move to think.

Start by observing: When does your child seem most alert? Do they ask to hear things read aloud? Do they remember things better when they create them into songs or games?

For instance, one parent told me how her 9-year-old couldn't retain historical facts from their workbook. But when the facts were turned into an audio story where he was the time-traveling hero on a mission, everything changed. Some educational tools today—even mobile apps like Skuli—allow you to turn written lessons into personalized audio journeys starring your own child. These methods not only ease learning, they gently invite your child back into the learning process with curiosity and joy rather than dread.

If this resonates, you might enjoy exploring how to adapt learning to suit your child’s unique needs.

Normalize Struggle and Reframe Success

What if we told our children that being confused is not a sign of failure but a sign of growth? When your child faces a tough concept, instead of jumping straight to explanation, pause and say, “This part is tricky—that means you’re learning something brand new.” Instead of focusing only on correct answers, acknowledge effort:

• “You didn’t give up, even when it got hard. That’s being brave.”
• “You found a new way to look at that problem. That’s creative thinking.”

Try also sharing your own struggles—even daily ones. Whether it’s figuring out a new phone or solving a work issue, modeling vulnerability and perseverance gives children permission to do the same.

Create Momentum Through Small Wins

When it feels like nothing is going right, create quick wins that rebuild confidence. If writing an essay is too tough, have them dictate their ideas while you type. If spelling’s a struggle, turn it into a rhythm game. If reading feels like a chore, let them choose what to read—even if it's comics or joke books.

One practical approach some families love is taking a photo of their child’s school lesson and converting it into a mini quiz for review—instantly turning passive material into an interactive challenge. This is something you can do manually, or more easily by using learning tools that personalize review in playful formats, like the Skuli App on iOS and Android.

Above all, celebrate progress, not perfection. A child who gets three more words right than yesterday is a child who is moving forward.

You're Not Alone on This Path

Parenting an overwhelmed child isn’t easy. It’s rarely linear or simple. But this moment—where your child feels stuck—can also be the start of something beautiful: the deepening of your relationship, the discovery of their learning superpowers, and the building of resilience that will last a lifetime.

If school stress is a regular part of your evenings, consider looking into ways to turn lessons into games or even short quests your child controls. Sometimes, the most overwhelmed kids just need to feel capable again—and that begins with reassurance, creativity, and small steps.

You're doing more than enough. And your child, with the right support, will find their way.