How to Calm Your Child's Anxiety Before Tests and Exams

When School Feels Like a Storm

You've probably seen it: the night before a test, your child is pacing around the room, chewing their pencil eraser, or suddenly developing a mysterious stomach ache. You try to reassure them – "You've studied, you're ready, it'll be fine" – but the words seem to bounce off like rubber balls. Their eyes say, "I'm scared and I don’t think I can do this."

As a parent, this hits deeply. We want to protect them, but we also want them to grow and face life’s little challenges. So how do you help your child manage that knot in their stomach before an evaluation – not by pretending it’s not there, but by gently untying it together?

Understanding Where the Stress Comes From

Start by recognizing what test stress really is for a child. At ages 6 to 12, they're still developing their sense of identity. School performance, for many, isn't just about grades – it's about feeling smart, capable, and accepted. So a test can symbolize much more than just 50 questions.

Children fear letting you down. They fear their teacher being disappointed. They fear "not being good enough" – an invisible but intense pressure. If your child already struggles in school, stress can be amplified.

In this article on rebuilding your child's confidence, we explore how academic struggles often chip away at self-esteem. And when that happens, even a simple quiz can feel like a mountain.

Start With Curiosity, Not Solutions

One of the most powerful things you can say before diving into tips or techniques is: "Can you tell me what you're worried might happen?" That simple question does two things: it shows you're truly listening, and it invites your child to externalize the fear – to name it.

Most often, test anxiety is rooted in vague, overwhelming thoughts. Your job isn't necessarily to solve every fear, but to help break it into digestible pieces. If your child says, "I’ll fail," ask, "And if you did, what do you think would happen?" Sometimes, just following the train of thought gently to its (often irrational) end helps lessen its power.

Reconnect Learning with Play and Imagination

Next, shift focus from results to the experience of learning. Can learning review be fun? Not always, but it can be engaging. One mom shared how her son would panic flipping through his math workbook, but when she turned the same lesson into a treasure-hunt-style game on paper, he lit up.

In fact, imagination is a secret weapon for memory and emotional regulation. Engaging your child’s imagination helps shift their mind from fear into active creation. That mental shift can be more powerful than hours of review.

Some families use tools that bring learning alive in new formats. For example, the Skuli App lets you transform a lesson into a personalized audio adventure – one where your child becomes the hero. Hearing their own name in a story that teaches math or history? That might just beat a pile of flashcards and a nervous breakdown the night before the test.

Review Timing Matters (and So Does Movement)

Short, spaced practice sessions work far better than cramming. You may have heard this before, but are you actually doing it? The goal is to help your child finish their review one or two days before the test, so the night before isn't for studying – it's for sleeping, decompressing, or taking a walk together.

We dive deeper into this idea in this post on study spacing. It’s ideal not just for retention, but for mental wellness too. Kids need learning to feel paced and predictable—not a mad dash of last-minute anxiety.

Also keep in mind that motion soothes nerves. Review math facts while tossing a ball back and forth. Ask grammar questions during a slow bike ride. Getting the body moving helps release pent-up stress and brings the brain back online.

Create a Ritual the Night Before

Even adults benefit from rituals that signal, “You’ve done your best for today.” Try establishing a calming pre-evaluation tradition: a warm bath, 10 minutes of a favorite podcast, a shared tea with no school talk allowed. You might revisit a practice that worked during a calmer time in your child’s life—reading together, drawing, breathing exercises, or even just humming a quiet song at bedtime.

If your child prefers listening to absorb lessons, let them play an audio version of the review while drifting off to sleep. Short, gentle exposure can reinforce learning without creating fresh worry.

Refocus on Growth, Not Outcomes

Finally, model the long view. A single test doesn’t define your child—not today, not ever. Show them you're more interested in their resilience and effort than their grade. Celebrate small wins, and when setbacks happen, use them as moments of reflection, not shame.

Children are more likely to calm down when they sense that you believe they'll be okay—even if they don't ace everything. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s the steady building of self-trust. And that takes time, patience, and lots of loving reminders.

If you’re still stuck and wondering why your child seems especially anxious compared to peers, you might find insights in this piece on focus difficulties at school. Sometimes what looks like anxiety is actually a deeper learning need that's worth exploring.

You're Not Alone in This

Parenting through school stress is tough. But your calm presence is a far more powerful tool than any review guide or planner. The night before a test, what your child most needs isn’t another flashcard—it’s the quiet confidence in your voice when you say, “No matter what happens tomorrow, I’m proud of you already.”

And maybe, after a good night’s sleep and a calming breakfast, they’ll walk into that classroom a little lighter—knowing that their value is never determined by a number on a page.