How to Better Understand Your Child’s Learning Struggles at Home

When school struggles show up at home

You're standing at the kitchen counter, trying to figure out dinner, while your 9-year-old slouches over a spelling worksheet, sighing like the world is ending. You want to stay calm, patient—even encouraging. But again, you're met with resistance: "I don’t get it," or worse, "I’m dumb." Hours drag, tempers flare, and everyone ends up feeling defeated.

If this scene feels familiar, you're not alone. Many parents find themselves caught between school expectations and emotional fallout at home. Understanding your child's learning difficulties isn't always about grades or behavior—it’s often about seeing the invisible challenges under the surface. Let’s explore how to better observe, interpret, and truly support your child’s academic journey from your kitchen table.

It starts with listening—really listening

We often jump into problem-solving mode when we hear things like “I can’t do this” or “School is stupid.” But these outbursts are often symptoms, not causes. When your child pushes homework away, ask yourself: is this confusion, fatigue, fear of failure—or something else entirely?

Sometimes, setting aside the worksheet and just talking can give you better insight.

Consider this: Sarah, a single mom of two, noticed her daughter was dreading math each night. Frustrated by tears and tantrums, she finally asked her daughter over hot cocoa, “What makes math so hard for you?” The answer was revealing: “I hate reading the instructions.” Turns out, the problem wasn’t math—it was reading comprehension.

When you take the time to truly listen, you might uncover unexpected root causes, whether that's visual processing difficulty, anxiety, or just a mismatch in learning style. These observations become invaluable when communicating with teachers—or even selecting the right tools at home.

Notice patterns—even the subtle ones

Children don’t always have the words to say what’s wrong, but their behavior can be clues. With time and attention, you may start to notice when the frustration appears:

• Is it only with certain subjects, like writing or math?
• Does focus drop after school but improve after a snack or a break?
• Do they shut down more when asked to do tasks independently?

This kind of “pattern tracking” allows you to respond more skillfully. For example, if your child is more receptive to learning during calm evening hours rather than right after school, lean into that rhythm, even if it feels counterintuitive.

You can also use smart tools to track academic progress and highlight weaker areas without it feeling like a test. Knowing the rhythm of their struggle empowers you to find calm ways to adjust and advocate.

Learning styles matter more than you think

While children are generally expected to absorb learning in the same way in school—mostly through reading, writing, and worksheets—no two kids actually learn the same.

Does your child seem to remember songs or conversations more than written instructions? Perhaps they’re an auditory learner. Do they grasp math when using their hands or playing games, rather than sitting still? Welcome to the world of kinesthetic learners.

Understanding how your child learns is liberating. If your child struggles to focus on reading but stays engaged during stories, you might consider turning their lessons into audio adventures, especially during daily commutes or quiet time. Some apps—even Skuli—can help you transform written lessons into personalized audio where your child becomes the story’s main character. Suddenly, reviewing geography or historical facts feels more like an exciting adventure than a chore.

For more on this, check out our guide on making learning come alive at home.

What looks like laziness might be something else

We often mistake low motivation or lack of focus for laziness. But more often than not, kids who avoid schoolwork are overwhelmed, anxious, or feel defeated before they begin.

One dad told me about his 10-year-old son who refused to study science. Turns out, the child had flunked two quizzes early on and now believed he was “just bad at science.” The father shifted gears and began breaking down lessons into smaller parts, turning each one into mini-review sessions using bite-sized quizzes. With each small win, the boy regained confidence—and curiosity.

Creating micro-moments of success can change the narrative your child tells themself. That’s where tech can assist gently. Apps that turn a photo of a lesson into a quick personalized quiz, for instance, can convert confusion into clarity without overwhelm. It’s not about screen time—it’s about smarter, compassionate scaffolding.

You’re not supposed to do this alone

Parenting a child with school-related challenges often feels isolating. But you don't have to navigate this path solo. Teachers, school psychologists, occupational therapists, and yes—even thoughtfully-designed tools—are all part of your village.

Don't hesitate to reach out to teachers with your observations. You know your child in a way no one else does. Your input could reveal things that aren’t showing up in the classroom. And arm yourself with the right support from the beginning of the year with tips from this article about long-term support.

Final thoughts: replace pressure with partnership

The goal isn’t to become your child’s tutor or fix all their struggles overnight. It’s about showing them that home is a safe place to struggle—and succeed. When you focus on connection over correction, their defenses lower, and real learning begins.

And remember, whether you’re using a whiteboard on the fridge or a clever app that customizes audio lessons, what matters most is showing up with patience, perspective, and a willingness to grow with your child—one small step at a time.

Want to change how your child studies at home? Here’s how to help them study smarter, not harder.