How Social Relationships Help Your Child Thrive in School

Connection First, Grades Later

"Why is my child falling behind when we’ve gone over the lesson five times already?" If you've ever cried this to yourself after another exhausting evening of homework battles, you’re far from alone. Many parents find themselves focusing on cognitive struggles—reading, math, attention—without realizing that something deeper might be at play: your child’s social world.

The truth is, relationships matter more than we often admit, especially between the ages of 6 and 12. Academic growth isn’t just about study methods or focus—it’s rooted in a child’s sense of belonging and connection. A confident, socially engaged child learns better, bounces back from failure faster, and dares to try again when things get tough.

The Hidden Link Between Friendship and Learning

Back in second grade, my daughter struggled with writing. Every homework session ended in tears. It wasn't until I noticed she never played with anyone at recess that I began to see the bigger picture. Her mind was too burdened by social anxiety to tackle a blank page.

Children need peers they feel safe with. Strong school friendships fuel academic motivation. When children feel seen and accepted by their classmates, they participate more, take more academic risks, and recover more quickly from setbacks. Being part of a learning community encourages them to care.

Social Struggles Often Mask as Learning Problems

If your child is resisting homework, dreading school, or melting down at the slightest comment from a teacher, ask yourself: how are things going socially? Is your child getting invited to birthday parties? Do they talk about classmates from time to time, even just in passing?

Social difficulty doesn’t always show up as bullying. It can be subtle—feeling left out, not having a partner during group projects, or being labeled the “quiet kid.” These experiences chip away at confidence over time, leading children to disengage from the academic side of things.

Creating Social Confidence at Home

We can't force friendships, but we can make home a safe place where children build social skills and confidence. Some ideas:

• Use play as practice. Board games, role-play, or pretend adventures help children practice turn-taking and empathy. This kind of indirect coaching can do wonders.
• Model vulnerability. Talk about your own friendships—the awkward beginnings and how you worked through conflict. This normalizes social effort.
• Watch for overstimulation. Many kids retreat socially when stressed. Helping them find ways to decompress after school can make them emotionally available for friendships the next day.

Supportive Peers Can Be Learning Allies

Some children just learn better when they’re not alone. Learning alongside a friend can boost motivation, reduce frustration, and make difficult tasks feel less daunting. If your child dreads reviewing lessons, try bringing in an element of social storytelling. For example, some educational apps, like Skuli, let children become the hero of their own audio adventure, using their name in a story that’s secretly reviewing concepts from their actual school lessons. Suddenly, learning becomes play—and relatable play at that.

This sort of learning becomes even richer when children talk about it with others. Try playing the adventure in the car on the way to soccer or with a sibling nearby. Associating learning with shared enjoyment can spark new enthusiasm, especially for children who are socially driven.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Group Play

Beyond academics, collaborative activities like team games and shared storytelling actually teach executive function—planning, decision-making, and flexible thinking. All of these are core to classroom success. If your child struggles with math or reading, you might consider whether something like co-op video games or structured board games could help.

Yes, video games. In fact, research shows cooperative gameplay can increase problem-solving skills. If your child enjoys gaming, guide them towards games that encourage strategy and communication. This could be particularly useful for hesitant learners who resist traditional methods.

We even put together a list of the best video games for kids who don’t enjoy school. Yes—it’s possible to support learning through the screen, when done with care.

Helping Your Child Build Bridges, Not Just Solve Problems

In the end, improving your child’s learning may have less to do with coercing homework and more to do with opening emotional doors. Encouraging joyful interactions, nurturing friendships, and making learning feel social can unlock mental bandwidth they didn't even know they were holding back.

So next time you’re about to wrestle your child to complete a worksheet, pause. Ask how their day felt. Who they sat with. What made them laugh. Because sometimes, the key to academic success lies not in the pages of a notebook—but in the hands they hold along the way.

And when you do get back to the worksheet? Maybe let their spelling words come to life as a personal audio adventure on the ride home, laughing along with you. Learning, after all, should feel like belonging.