How Parents Can Help Children Cope with School Stress

Understanding What Stress Looks Like in Children

You come home from work, tired but hopeful. You ask your child how their day went. They shrug, eyes glued to the floor. "Fine," they mutter, but you notice the heavy backpack, the tense shoulders, the quiet sigh that escapes as they head to their room. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many parents sense their children are overwhelmed by school but aren't always sure how to help—or if they even can.

Academic stress in children between the ages of 6 and 12 is not only real; it's becoming increasingly common. As school demands grow and children begin to internalize performance expectations, many struggle. Their stress doesn't always show up in ways we adults recognize: it might be irritability, trouble sleeping, a mysterious stomachache every Sunday night, or a sudden “I hate school” declaration. Understanding that these behaviors could be signs of academic stress is the first step toward support, not punishment or concern about motivation.

Why Your Role as a Parent Matters More Than You Think

You might wonder: "Aren’t teachers and school counselors trained for this? Shouldn’t school be managing stress?" Of course, educators play an essential part. But your role as a parent—especially your emotional presence—is irreplaceable.

Children between 6 and 12 are at a crucial developmental stage. Their brains are growing rapidly, but emotional regulation isn’t yet mature. They rely on parents to set the emotional tone. If school feels like a high-stakes battleground, and home doesn’t offer a peaceful refuge, children can feel trapped in a world with no escape.

One mother I spoke to recently, Sophie, told me how her daughter, Camille, suddenly refused to go to school. She later discovered that Camille was terrified of being called on in class. By simply sitting beside her every evening as she reviewed her lessons—no correcting, just comforting—Camille’s anxiety slowly faded. Home became her safe space.

Creating a Calm Post-School Environment

The way a child transitions from school to home can either compound their stress or begin to release it. Begin by observing your child’s energy and mood once they return home. Do they need to talk? Play? Collapse into a quiet corner?

Rather than jumping straight into homework mode, offer an intentional decompression window. Even 15 minutes of active play, art, or quiet alone time can make a world of difference. Learn more about the benefits of active breaks and how they help calm children’s minds.

And during homework time, try to co-regulate your child’s emotions. That means staying calm yourself—even when you want to scream at the long division problem your child insists they “ate at school.” Deep breathing, humor, empathy—these are your greatest tools.

Avoiding the Pressure Trap

Many well-intentioned parents unknowingly contribute to stress by pressing too hard for results. Wanting your child to succeed is not the issue. But when success is equated only with grades, productivity, or perfection, school becomes a pressure cooker.

Take time to reflect on how you talk about school. Are report cards moments of celebration or tension? Do you praise effort or achievement? Do conversations revolve only around what still needs to be done? Consider what it would feel like if your boss asked about your workload every evening.

In our article “My Child Is Gifted, But Exhausted”, we explore how high expectations—even for bright kids—can lead to burnout. Let’s remind our kids that school is just one part of life, not the definition of it.

When to Adjust, and When to Seek Help

Sometimes school stress is a clue pointing to deeper mismatches. Perhaps your child isn't lazy or unfocused. Maybe the class pace is too fast, or learning style too rigid. Could your energetic, talkative child be struggling with focus not out of defiance, but due to undiagnosed attention or processing challenges?

Our guide on mental overload versus attention deficit explores how to distinguish between the two and where to turn for support. Sometimes, simply reframing your child’s behavior with curiosity instead of judgment changes everything.

Helping your child thrive means sometimes adapting school routines to suit their needs. As we discussed in creating natural school schedules, a rhythm that respects your child’s energy—not just the school bell—is one of the greatest gifts you can offer.

Tools That Ease the Burden, Without Adding to It

If your child is overwhelmed by traditional study approaches, consider how resources can be adapted to fit their learning style. For example, one father shared with me how his 8-year-old son, Felix, hated reviewing his science notes—until those notes were turned into an audio story with Felix as the main character, making meteorology magical instead of miserable.

With tools like the Skuli App, you can transform written lessons into personalized audio adventures or review quizzes simply by snapping a photo. It’s not about replacing effort, but about removing unnecessary friction—and returning joy to learning moments.

You Are Not Alone

If you’ve read this far, it means you already care deeply. That care is your child’s lifeline. The battle against school stress is not about doing everything right, or fixing every meltdown. It’s about showing up, listening more than fixing, and offering home as the place where your child can breathe freely.

And on particularly hard days, when the homework tantrums return or the tears blur the pages, know this: it’s okay to remind your child—and yourself—that mental health matters more than performance. In fact, it’s the very foundation of lasting success.

If you're wondering whether school stress has crossed the line into something more concerning, don't miss our piece on when school becomes toxic to children's mental health.