Facing Back-to-School Anxiety: Practical Tips for Supporting Your Child

When Backpacks Bring Butterflies: Understanding Your Child's Worries

It’s the night before school starts, and instead of excitement, your child feels a knot in their stomach. Maybe they can’t sleep, or they ask questions that spiral—"What if no one talks to me? What if I mess up in math again?" As a parent, you recognize this for what it is: anxiety. And while you’d trade places with them in a second, what they need most is your calm, steady presence—and a plan.

Acknowledge First, Fix Later

We often leap too quickly into solutions: new routines, stricter bedtimes, or more structured homework. But before that toolbox opens, start with validation. Anxious kids don’t just want to feel better. They want to feel seen.

Try saying: "It makes sense you're nervous. Starting something new is hard, and you've been through a lot last year." Keep your tone matter-of-fact and spacious—like you're talking about the weather, not a crisis. This normalizes their worry without dismissing it.

In our recent article on self-criticism, we explored how kids internalize stress. Often, that same voice follows them into the new school year. Recognizing it early can set the stage for a more compassionate school experience.

Make Routines an Anchor, Not Another Pressure

Routines can soothe anxiety, but only when they feel predictable and gentle—not like a military operation. Think of your afternoon flow as a calming sequence, where your child has room to land after school before being asked to conquer homework.

Create a ritual they can count on: a small snack, ten minutes of quiet (or silly) connection with you, and a comfortable setting to tackle school tasks. But don’t overbuild. Keep it soft and breathable. Use visual checklists or timers that show them what’s next without pressure.

If mornings are the hardest, evening rituals can ease the tension. Explore how in our article designed to help anxious kids sleep better and wake lighter.

Turn Schoolwork from a Threat into a Story

One of the deepest roots of back-to-school anxiety is a fear of not keeping up. Your child remembers struggling with reading, forgetting the math formula, or freezing during a group presentation. But what if “school lessons” didn’t feel like school at all?

Some children, especially those with learning differences or performance anxiety, process information best when it’s experienced, not just taught. This is where creative tools become allies. For example, some apps can transform written lessons into personalized adventures—your child becomes the hero of a story where spelling saves the kingdom or math solves mysteries. (One such app—Skuli—follows this model, even using your child’s first name to immerse them in the story, turning even reluctant learners into eager participants.)

This kind of learning doesn’t replace school—it reframes it. Your child gets to rehearse success in a low-pressure setting, which builds the brain pathways for self-belief.

Watch for Cracks Before They Split

When your child seems fine but suddenly refuses to go to school, clings at drop-off, or has tummy aches every morning, you might be dealing with hidden academic burnout. Yes, it’s a real phenomenon, even in younger kids. Our piece on academic burnout in children outlines exactly what to watch for and what steps to take early on.

The transition back to school can reveal stress points your child kept quiet over the summer. Keep your radar up but avoid turning every wobble into a warning sign. Anxiety often comes and goes—it’s the pattern, not the moment, that matters.

Build In Success, One Small Win at a Time

Start the year by helping your child remember who they are outside of school. Build victories into the week: baking a cake together, finishing a puzzle, helping a sibling. Then gently draw the parallel: “See how you kept going even when it was tricky? That’s the same bravery you use in class.”

If your child is especially anxious about achievement or comparisons, our piece on performance anxiety in girls and boys can help you understand how different kinds of pressures show up—and how to speak to them effectively.

And You—Breathe, Too

As you support your anxious child, remember this: you are likely carrying their fear and your own. What if they fall behind? What if other kids are unkind again? What if this becomes another hard year?

Give yourself space to feel that—and then remind yourself of what’s true. Your steady love is more important than any perfect plan. If you can offer a safe place to land, and a soft hand to hold as they try again and again, you’re already doing more than enough.