Does Giftedness Disappear as Children Grow Up?

Understanding the Ebb and Flow of Giftedness

“He used to be so sharp—always curious, always ahead. But now, it’s like the spark is fading.”

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking this about your child, you are not alone. Many parents of children identified as High Potential Intellectual (HPI)—or gifted—during their early years start to wonder, often around ages 9 to 12, whether that gifted profile is somehow slipping away. Suddenly, school becomes more of a struggle. Homework ends in tears or slammed doors. The fascination with learning seems to have dulled. And you’re left asking a painful question: Was it all just a phase?

No, Giftedness Doesn’t Disappear—But It Can Hide

The short answer is no, giftedness doesn’t just vanish with age. But how it shows up in your child can change dramatically. The brain of a gifted child develops unevenly; emotional depth, sensitivity, and abstract thinking often emerge earlier than in peers. But this asynchronous development can also bring emotional overload, social struggles, and learning challenges masked as behavior issues.

So, what may look like a child “losing” their gift is often a child overwhelmed by it. You can read more about this delicate balance in our article on preserving the emotional balance of gifted children.

The School Years: Gifted Kids at a Crossroad

Between ages 6 and 12, children begin to encounter more rigid academic systems. For a gifted child who once soared in a Montessori classroom or thrived on imaginative play, the move to repetitive worksheets and standardized tests can feel like a cage. They may begin to shut down, withdraw, or underperform—not because they've lost their abilities, but because they no longer feel engaged or understood.

It's also during these years that some children face confusion between giftedness and attention difficulties. Their minds leap ahead while the classroom marches slowly forward. If you're unsure what your child is really dealing with, explore how to distinguish giftedness from attention deficits.

When Giftedness is Misunderstood

One exhausted parent shared with me how her 10-year-old daughter, once obsessed with astronomy, started dreading science class. What changed? The same content was now taught in a dry, formulaic way—and her daughter’s creative, question-filled thinking just didn’t fit the mold anymore. This disconnect can lead gifted kids to believe they’re no longer special or smart, creating deep inner conflict.

Understanding how giftedness manifests across time helps counter this belief. Some gifted children resist reading, even though they're highly verbal. Others struggle in math classes because they see patterns that aren’t being taught—or feel bored by repetition. You might enjoy this deeper look into why some gifted children don’t enjoy reading or why not all are instantly good at math.

What Can You Do as a Parent?

The most powerful thing you can do is to keep seeing your child clearly—beyond the grades, beyond the meltdowns, beyond the labels. Ask yourself: What lights them up? When do they lean in? When do they go quiet?

Giftedness thrives in understanding, not pressure. Here are a few gentle approaches that can help:

• Follow their curiosity: If they're obsessed with Greek mythology, let them build a Lego Olympus or write their own myths.
• Honor different learning styles: Some kids need movement, others need story. During commutes or winding-down time, try turning written lessons into audio adventures where your child becomes the hero—it can make knowledge feel alive again. (The Skuli app can help with this.)
• Slow down the race: We often push gifted children ahead—a grade up, advanced programs—but sometimes, they need to just be 10 years old. To be heard. To play.

Looking Ahead

Giftedness isn’t a certificate you earn at age 7. It’s a thread that weaves itself throughout a lifetime—changing color, changing form. What your child needs from you is not confirmation that they’re still gifted, but reassurance that who they are today is seen, valued, and deeply enough.

If you’re still unsure about your child’s profile or wondering if they were gifted in the first place, it may help to revisit how early giftedness can be detected. Sometimes gifted children aren’t missed—they’re just misunderstood.

So no, your child’s giftedness hasn’t disappeared. But maybe, together, you can learn new ways to rediscover and nurture it—gently, curiously, and without fear.